lazy & uninspired

Yes, I'm feeling lazy and uninspired. So lazy that 2 months ago I stopped writing in my travel journal. Every time I sit down to write, I end up shutting it and doing something else. I have lots to do. Laundry, clean, TAXES. Yes sort my damn taxes for both NZ and more importantly the mess of my taxes in the US. Mike's working at Turoa and I want him here. It's like I'm wanting him here to somehow give me this burst of motivation. Probably not. Blah. I hate that blah feeling. I just want to go home. I know that it's just the next thing I'm looking forward to. Once I'm home, I'll be looking for the next thing, never satisfied. What the hell is wrong with me? What the hell do I want with my life. I know one thing I want. I want Mike. I love Mike. He loves me in a way I never knew someone could love me. I dont want the stresses of life. Yet, I dont want the boringness of nothingness. Why do we want it all? Why do I always feel like there should just be some magic pill that will instantly make you feel better? Why do I need someone else to inspire me. I need some fresh air. I'm opening the window. Maybe I should go for a drive. A drive where? I have no where to go. Maybe I should stop being a baby and just get up and start doing something. That's what I'm going to do. I'm going to pop on some more lively music, make a milo, and start DOING something!!!!